Friday, June 27, 2008

Feeling positive!!

So going into States I had some confidence, but more so than that were questions in my mind that I would think barred me from havinbg the killer instinct to attack the Groveport TT course in earnest.

What I am saying is that in a subtle way I tried my best to be positive and think about winning and going all out the whole course. Trying my best to draw out memories of spots of the course like mini-youtube videos in my head. And then using those few images of the course i could recall and seeing myself flying through them. Sprinting over rises and driving big watts and speed over the flats.

Also playing out the race in my mind over and over for my pacing strategy and as checks along the course to see if I was on track or behind or way ahead!! ONe was to check distance at 26 minutes. Those thoughts even kept me up Thursday night, buit not in a positive way.

But after States I am full of confidence. That ugly voice in my head that plays devils advocate to all of my positive thoughts is gone. When I think I can average 27 mph for 40k not just 20k I now believe and so the "realist" in me is silent. I mean whats the point of having positive thoughts and envisioning your own success if that damn voice is always there nagging?

But thats what ti was. It was fear of the unknown. I averaged 27.8mph at presque Isle, but subsequent races at Leroy I was a bit down on last year. Sure I was peaking and training and racing tired at every event or ride, but still, that stuff gets in your head just a bit. I am not going fast enough in 16k (10miles) how am I going to go even faster for 38k?

So sure I was 8th not 5th at States so some might see that as a failure since I wanted top 5 (and dreamed of top3, but told no one). But why am I so excited for Nats without a "killer" States performance?

Simple, I ended States on a high note and believe I did have a Killer performance (for me) then went to a fun, hilly 6.7mi local TT and pushed myself in ways I hadnt before and paced myself in other ways that showed me I am in control. Also at States half way through till the end I asked my legs and lungs for more over and over and they gave me more. Sure it hurt like hell at the time and I was sore after the race as were all the top finishers, but I asked for one more mph and sometimes got 2.

The confidence plays a part in that I wont wait half the race to believe. I believe in myself now and when I go off the line on Monday at 8:51:00am I'll know that I will give it my all, I'll pace correctly, I'll pick up that speed when it hurts the most and no little voice is gonna tell me its not gonna be enough!! SHUT the $@#$#@ UP!!! Its go time!!

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